How to Conduct Yourself with Allah 3

How to Conduct Yourself with Allah

Part 5: How to Conduct Yourself with Allah when He Tries You

When a trial or a calamity falls, people exhibit different reactions as follows:

1. Gross Discontent: The Prophet peace be upon him said, “The greatness of the reward goes hand in hand with the greatness of the trial. And when Allah loves a people, He tries them. So for the one who patiently accepts, then for him is the acceptance. And for the one who is grossly discontented, then for him is the discontentment.” And Abu Mas’ud Al Balkhi said, “He who is afflicted with a calamity and tears his clothes or beats his chest- it is as if he has grasped his spear ready to fight his Lord.” Allah Subhanah says, “And of the people is he who worships Allah, as it were, on the verge: If good befalls him, he is well content by it; but if he is struck by trial, he turns on his face: He has lost both this world and the Hereafter. That is indeed the manifest loss.” (Al-Hajj, 11) Therefore, this Gross Discontent reaction is considered forbidden (haram).

2. Patience: A saying by the wise is that, “The rational person’s reaction on the first day of a calamity is exhibited by the ignorant, after the 4th day..” Meaning the rational person exhibits patience, calm and composure from the first instance of a tragedy. The Prophet peace be upon him says, “Indeed patience is (is to be exhibited) upon the first onset of the shock.” This category (Patience) is obligatory upon the Muslim and crying does not contradict this state. As Allah says of Prophet Jacob, “and his eyes became white from grief..” (Yusuf, 84) And as the Prophet peace be upon him said when his son Ibrahim passed away, “The eyes will swell with tears and the heart will fill with sorrow but we do not say except that which pleases Allah.”

3. Acceptance and Contentment: This reaction is highly preferred but is not obligatory. Al Ahnaf bin Qais said, “I lost sight in one eye forty years ago, I never mentioned it to anyone.” So if the servant’s heart is full of love for Allah and a tragedy befalls him, he sees that the Creator is the Sovereign, Owner of all- and it is for the Sovereign to do what He wishes with what He owns. And he sees Him as the All-Wise, never to decree anything in vain.. and thus surrenders himself as a slave would to a wise master.

Can you reach this level of content with the onset of a tragedy yet still continue to suffer pain? Absolutely yes! Isn’t medicine bitter? But we’re content with taking it, aren’t we? In fact we pay high prices to get it and even travel far distances to reach it! I will give you an analogy to help erase your pain when you are faced with a trial: If I buy a computer from you for a price much much higher than it is worth and decide to keep it with you on hold for a time. Then years later, I return with an axe and I pound it to pieces. Would you be terribly sad and upset? No, of course not, because you already took your money. Do you now understand the secret behind why Allah commands us to say at the time of a calamity, “Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.”? (Al-Baqarah, 156) We are all owned by Allah and He takes us back to Him whenever He wills. Ibn Al Qayyem said, “Many a people will exhibit patience with what is decreed upon them and do not express discontent, but they are not content. So the level of contentment is a different story- another level.”

4. Gratitude: This is the highest, most noble level- to thank Allah for the calamity that has hit and to even feel joy with it. The Prophet peace be upon him said, “Those before you used to be happier with the onset of calamity than they would be with a blessing.” But how??

a. Don’t trials expiate our sins? Aren’t sins the most devastating load on Judgement Day? The Prophet peace be upon him said, “So the trials will not cease upon the servant till he walks the earth and there is not a single sin left on him.”

b. Aren’t these trials being decreed upon us by the Most Merciful? The Prophet peace be upon him said, “Sometimes a man will be destined for a high rank in paradise but does not possess enough deeds to reach it. So Allah continues to send bitter trials his way till he earns the entitlement to reach it.” Fadheel said, “Indeed Allah will commit to trying His believing servant (with trial after trial) just as a man commits to good with his family.”

c. Aren’t the highest rewards given for trials? As people paid their respects to a wise woman, she told them, “If it wasn’t for tragedies, we would come on Judgment Day bankrupt!”

This is why “those before you used to be happier with the onset of calamity than they would be with a blessing.”

A helpful tip to help ease the pain of a trial: Is to look around and see how it could have been much worse.